Huh, who? I dunno. Possibly me; you decide.
Scene 1:
Newbie is in his condo, putting together a scale model of the Voyager 1 spacecraft. The high-gain antenna snaps.
NEWBIE: YAAARRRGH!!! DAMN YOU NASA! AND YOUR SHODDY BUILDING MATERIALS TOO!
Newbie punches the city-scape of NYC hanging on his living-room wall, glass proceeds to sever tendons in his fingers. Newbie drinks a beer, goes to sleep, wakes up the next morning, walks to Hannehman, meets cute nurse, gets number, can't make a fist anymore.
Scene 2:
Newbie is at a book-store in Maryland, right outside Fort Meade. He hands his books to the cashier and waits for the spiel.
CASHIER: Do you have a super-book-savers-membership-club-card?
NEWBIE: No thank you though.
Newbie holds out money.
CASHIER: I asked if you had one.
NEWBIE: And I replied "No thank you" as in "no" I don't have one, and I anticipated your highly-fucking-annoying second question with a "thank you, though". Can I pay for my fucking books now?
Cashier and fellow purchasers of books stare at Newbie as one would a crazy street person pontificating in the nude on a box of nails.
Cashier: oooooookaaaaay...
Scene 3:
Newbie stands in line at a grocery store in DC. The people in front of him are almost done. The cashier notices him waiting.
CASHIER: Sir, line 1 is open now. You can go there.
Newbie proceeds to line 1, someone beats him there, he heads back for his previous line, where the cashier is just about finished with the person in line. Someone cuts in front of him just before he returns.
NEWBIE: Well fuck me.
Newbie drops his sushi, salad, and green tea on the supermarket floor. Food-stuffs go flying. Newbie exits the store slowly, all eyes on the back of his head.
What do you think, Kiddies!
--HK_Newbie
said...
Seems like well balanced, rational, completely sane responses. Considering the unbalanced, gun-toting sociopath subject.
hk_newbie said...
I think that's the most complimentary thing someone's said to me in a long time. if you weren't a dude, i'd ask you out on a date.