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Throwing is the new rolling

One of the greatest sites ever to be seen by mere mortals. Prepare yourselves...for awesomeness. 

Thursday, May 17, 2007

10:04 AM - The Terror. The Terror.


I was wisely using my lunch time hour to evaluate the...err...assets of the pussy cat dolls (i'm not sure exactly who comprises this group). Their democratically-elected leader appears to be the gorgeous (that word could be used to describe any of them really; they are interchangeably gorgeous) chick who, for a large part of the video, sticks up her index finger, tilts her head to the side, and dances a lazy sort of jig. Oh, and she lips synchs poorly.

Of course, none of this matters (the beauty, the finger, jig dancing) when the goddamn editing gives you about 3 seconds to appreciate it before cuts. Here, watch:



See what I mean? It's directed like a bad japanese robot fighting cartoon where the attention span of the audience is so brief (think golden retriever brief) that a new, violently glowing image must be presented every other second in a sequence that will inevitably cause epileptic seizures in large amounts of the population. And there's some weird posturing going on, most of which really doesn't make much sense in the context that it's occurring. Take, for example, my favorite "pants" scene:
She seems just a BIT too happy to be putting on pants, doesn't she? What are these pants? Why do they make her so happy? And why is she wearing a black bra?

These are all questions that haunt me. Every waking moment of my day thus far is spent in quiet, pussy-catish contemplation. I'm like a modern Buddha and my koan is focused on the this woman's pants. Damn, religion is COOL.

I leave you with an image that, on many levels, generalizes the pussy cat dolls:




--HK_Newbie

Blogger Unknown said...

Clean up, aisle 7.

Juan, can you bring a mop?  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

For your viewing pleasure, good sir, I present the following montage:

http://emuse.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/21258  

Blogger calamityJANE said...

the main pussycat doll is the only one that consistently looks good...the rest are butter faces most of the time.

haha, i happened to catch the "next pussycat doll" contest and i think they specifically chose the ugliest finalist to be the next pussycat. i really really do.  

Blogger The Salvage Bar said...

That final picture is a metaphor for the life of every outcast teen who ever snapped and shot up their school.  

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