First of all, to get to my destination- Tommy’s Tavern- I went on an
Tommy’s Tavern is just like any other bar- offering its patrons a pool table, two juke boxes and Budweiser on tap. PBRs were two dollars a can. Go figure. The bartender did however make jack and cokes fit for an Irishman. As a bar, it was average, I guess. As a venue, it was horrible. The room the bands were in was no bigger than a double room in Stony Brook’s residence halls. That’s really fucking small. To top it off, the bands were making up in volume what they lacked in talent. That’s when I decided that I should probably just get drunk as quickly as possible and stay outside as much as I can.
After the first band's set (which by the way included such antics as throwing carrots and broccoli at the audience and having the whole band dress in private school uniforms), I was well into my 40 oz. of social skills and very happy to have found the one person in the whole place that held no pretenses: Shono.
This kid was IN the Last Samurai. He told me that Tom Cruise was “gorgeous” and that he came to work every day in a helicopter. He also told me about being able to shoot the “very old guns.” I believe Shono was also the only one in the whole crowd who admitted to me that he thought the bands were shitty. He did however like the Schemps…and I agreed with him.
The Schemps were definitely the crowd favorite. By then I was deaf in one ear and finally getting over being so nervous. Addrianna placed me right in front of the band and told me to watch the frontman. Well, not only did I get to watch the frontman, I was literally swept up and away by him at the start of the set, making everyone oh-so-jealous of me. I was taken by surprise and all I could do to keep from just tripping over everyone was hold on. I think he expected me to sing into the mic as well but fuck if I knew the words. This pretty much set the tone for the rest of the night- the room was just a writhing mass of humanity- pushing, pulling, grabbing, shaking, throbbing.
Now I don’t know what’s worse- getting to a show and realizing that you’re older than everyone else by at least 2 years or realizing that you’re younger than everyone else by at least 5 years. This show was definitely the latter. Well, now I don't feel so bad that I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do with my life. Somehow I know that I probably won't be where they are when I'm their age. Whew.
At the end of the night, I boarded a local A train with my friend Addrianna and her man of the night, an innocent, effeminate little Wisconsin boy, both were drunk, ready to rip each other’s clothes and kind of loud. I was half-asleep, disappointed and mentally preparing for whatever could come up on my way home.
I found G-unit sitting on the sidewalk. These guys are drug dealers. At one point, they threw a bottle at us. I went over there with Scott and straightened them out. If you’re 30 feet away, they’re jerks but if you walk up to them, they’re just a bunch of pussies. I made sure they knew who had the real cojones (me). See the guy at the end, yeah, he’s wiping his mouth after choking on my chojin penii.
Muay Thai kickboxing has nothing on moshing.
But the whole night could really have been summed up by this one picture...my money shot:
Moral of the story: I’m never staying up until 4AM ever again unless I’m playing D&D (I’m under the impression that role-playing til the sunrises is the norm though I’ve never experienced that.) or I’m having sex or studying. And I’m not even sure if having sex is really a good reason to be up that late anyway.
Best/Worst moment of the night: The bar closed and Addy really needed to take a piss…So I stood watch as she peed behind a car. I meant to take a picture but I didn’t. She’s really good at peeing while standing!! However, she did splash urine onto my shoes. I gave her my best frown.
Final Assessment: When the time comes for the 4MR to rise up and carry out its mission,
Point: I’m never leaving my house again.
Counter-Point: I’m probably never posting again. This is a disaster.
RaiNny said...
Point: I'm never letting you go outside of the house without me and I want you to call me every 15 minutes to let me know where you are.
hk_newbie said...
although, that mr. peppers comment was pretty funny. Someone needs to adjust the g-unit's hat on the far right, it looks like his brain has initiated manual ovverride and is attempting to force its way out of his scalp.