I hate my goddamn cat. He's not at all like my dog. While my dog is like the ninja:silent, smart, deadly; my cat is like the pirate:loud, boisterous, drunken. Needless to say, pirate cats piss me the hell off.6 o'clock in the freaking morning and he's on my chest mewling like someone jammed a slim jim up his ass (there wasn't one, I checked). I threw him across the room several times to no avail, took potshots at him with a nearby 22 pistol, and even started crying, pleading with him to leave me the hell alone and let me sleep!
I swear to god, he lauged at me and just kept on crying.
When I finally got out of bed 20 minutes later and went upstairs to put soft food in his bowl, he just stood over the bowl, looked at it for a minute, looked at me, looked back at the food, AND STARTED FUCKING CRYING AGAIN. Attempts to force-feed the little shit met with little success, so I decided to try and hide in one of my home's empty rooms in the hopes that he'd lose me and go back to his hole in the basement.
All the while, my dog lays there on the kitchen floor, four feet to the air, acting like he doesn't give a shit whether he's fed or not, because he is one bad ass mofo-- just like the ninja!The cat, however, found me no matter which room I ran into. I could hear his crying becoming louder and more insistent as he approached whatever place I chose to hide in, until he was standing right in front of me clawing and biting at my ankles.
Ignoring him doesn't work, the dog won't eat him, and he's too fast to get a bead on him with a gun, so I really have no choice now but to accept that he will always cry, all the time, for no reason other than to piss me off.
Oh well, at least it isn't Star Wars.
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Captain Yarr! would be proud of that picture. (sniffle) Brings tears to my eyes...