For me, it started out like any other night.
Pulling into the wawa resulted in an almost immediate attack by roof ninjas (similar to regular ninjas, except they hide out on rooftops and drop down on me whenever I try to go out into the world) and drunken teenagers. The ninjas were easy enough to defeat with my shortie hogie, gatorade, and six shooter (.357 mag, 5 1/2 in barrel, Remington)...actually, the hogie and gatorade didn't help quite as much as the gun, but they were useful for killing my hunger and thirst (I love killing things that one normally wouldn't consider killing. It takes more imagination than plain 'ol killing).
The drunken teenagers were quite difficult however. They stood on and around my poor, beat-up cavalier and refused to move for some strange reason. Having used up all of my ammo on the previously mentioned ninja-attack, I was left with the difficult recourse of trying to REASON with these mental giants (read: living brain donors). Finally, it struck me: I should speak in a language they could understand!
"Cinco de mayo! YI YI YI YI YI! Tengo mucho nachos y tamales!" (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP)
The group's collective ear perked up, accepted my words with a wisdom that comes only from massive amounts of tequila ingested shot-glass-by-shot-glass betwixt a chick's tits, and slowly moved away from my chariot of manly awesomeness.
...now that I think about that, it IS an excellent way to drink tequila. Hell, who am I kidding? It's the ONLY way to drink tequila! Happy cinco de mayo, BITCHES!
This video accurately depicts MY party night. Replace the power tools with pitchers of margarita and its like my weekend was put to song!
said...
Are you sure it wasnt more like this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pq6vufmTJ9Q&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fweebls%2Dstuff%2Ecom%2F
hk_newbie said...
yes, i'm sure. the only difference between my weekend and the video I POSTED was the girls in my weekend were far more sexier and had infinite (seemingly) pitchers of margaritas.