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Throwing is the new rolling

One of the greatest sites ever to be seen by mere mortals. Prepare yourselves...for awesomeness. 

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

5:38 PM - Gking's amazing stupendous adventure in Existential and anti-material freedom

This morning I took my car in for a oil change and I find out that there's a leak somewhere in my transmission. My mechanic told me that I would most likely need to get a new one since my car has about a billion miles on it. So I it's gonna cost me about $1300. Not a real big deal, but just fucking annoying as all hell. And as I was driving home in this irritated state, my cell phone goes off. So there I am driving like 60 miles down a 35 mile per hr. road digging in my pocket for my cell when I get pulled over for speeding. I answer my cell anyway, since I've now gotten pulled over and by this point I'm fucking furious. It's a co-worker and guess what she has to say? Sorry, I dialed the wrong number but, how's it going anyway? I hang up.

Cop asks for the usual and wants to know if I knew I was going that fast, and I acknowledged that I did. Made some BS up about going home to get to work on time when suddenly he sees the SigSauer decal sticker I left in my car from picking up my Blackwater the other day. He starts yaking bla bla bla about how he tried to get his dept. to get some Sigs and that they're the Masteratis of Pistols etc. We must have stood there talking about handguns for about 15 mins. Then he tells me he'll let me go because I have good taste in firearms!! What a fucking freak! But thank God nonetheless.

I get home and I drive into my local gun club to get some membership paperwork done when I see a few guys shooting trap. I mean I been wanting to do "this" for so long and I found this to be a great oportunity... Cell phones; what can I say? They're fucking annoying as hell, never work most the time and cause cancer. (well i really don't know about that, but anyway) And I really don't use it all that much and all the people that call me are annoying ass bitches with the exception of like 2 people. (you know who you are) So anyway, I get this ever so spontaneous idea. I ask one of the gentleman to pretend my cell is a skeet and without hesitation he told me he would with a good robust laugh. He also shared my hatred of cell phones apparently. So I tossed it in the air as hard as I could and for a moment there it almost seemed like it was frozen in time. Ever so gently gliding through the air, dancing with the soft breeze. It was beautiful. Then with a shocking thunderous BOOM! it was obliterated into a gazillion little pieces and for once in a very long long time, I, was happy.

--Gking4ever

Blogger calamityJANE said...

you should publish this story.  

Blogger hk_newbie said...

I agree, that was an awesome post.  

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