As we all know, there's something seriously rotten in the states of New Mexico and Washington. Most likely, it stems from the nuclear testing done in the 40's; when no one had a single clue about what the hell they were doing.
I believe their hypothesis went something like this: Split atom from isotope-->start chain reaction-->big explosion ensues (be sure to purchase some bad ass reflective glasses)--> Universe may or may not explode--> Go USA!
You have to love their gumption. You also have to love the word gumption. I demand it.
The unexpected side effects which include, but are not limited to, cancer, freakish goiters, super powers, and an almost magnetic attraction to psychotic maniacs that love telling me their life-fucking-story.
But that's another story.
Let's compare freaks now, shall we?
Round 1
Category
Maniacal killers:
New Mexico:
This handsome fellow is the stereotypical new mexican maniacal killing freak: huge protruding skull, evil glaring eyes, and a penchant for canabalism. Who knew exposure to high amounts of fallout could be so fun?
Washington:
This hideous beast is actually a combination of spare body parts the entity amputated on its way to the local bar (it leaves a fairly easy trail to follow, just look for people with one or two less limbs than they look like they should have). Its true form is something only glimpsed at for a brief moment after it has lured its prey (young, virile males) into a secluded location and drains them of their precious bodily fluids.
Round 1 most definitely goes to Washington. You just can't beat something that steals your precious bodily fluids. Believe me, YOU CAN'T!
Look for round 2 shortly....
--HK_Newbie
calamityJANE said...
mmm...bodily fluids...
I MEAN...mmm, human flesh...
No! What I really mean is at least you're not in Stony Brook.
hk_newbie said...
good point, calamityjane! good point!
and yes, your hunger for human flesh frightens me.