With that out of the way, I'll slowly delve into the topic at hand--which, as always, is me. Or more particularly, on the ways to improve upon myself (i.e. PER-freaking-FECTION). This need not be a physical improvement either, areas of study are important too. From my end, I was thinking a cyborgized, paralytic-needle shooting penis for those "oh shit! why did I agree to this?!" moments, a brand-spanking new ninja mask (my old one was burned by the acid of a 100-armed, acid-spitting kraken that I killed somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic in an attempt to locate my misparked Cavalier. I eventually located the vehicle somewhere on spring-garden street. Of course, during the previously mentioned duel to the death, I misplaced my keys and ending up spending my night on someone's floor anyhow), and a new language skill...I was thinking Klingon perhaps. That would surely impress all the hot star-trek babes. Right?
I would also like to add some new items to my wardrobe. Here's the first:
An Electrical Safety Vest.
Notice the arcing electrical current, and kick-ass, protective gloves. Nothing says, "you can look ladies, but you can't touch" like thousands of volts of hair-searing, negatively charged ions, just looking for the fastest route to the ground. And as we all know, women want that which they cannot have. All I have to do is switch off the vest and voila: instant rain shower (Rain=Poon).
My Second wardrobe-enhancer:
The Dr. Doom mask
Now, some of you might cringe at the thought of me hiding my visage behind a steel/adamantine mask, but I reply (before severing one of your arteries at daring to cringe at one of my ideas) "what better way to guard my face against ruin than a hermetically sealed environment?". Once I have brought my prey...er, lucky lady(ies), to an agreed upon place that isn't my parent's basement, I will then remove my mask and revel in the squeals of her (or theirs, depending on the amount) visually-induced orgasmic delight. Did I spell "squeal" correctly?
Wow. That took alot out of me. I'm gonna go listen to 10,000 days until my ears bleed. Good night!
--HK_Newbie
hk_newbie said...
I just noticed TWO sets of gloves in the photo of the electrical vest. I had hoped never to reveal this to anyone, but yes...I do have four arms . Much like Goro of Mortal Kombat-fame, I am from an alternate dimension. An alternate dimension of roughly 75% more productivity! Ha Ha! Assholes!
The_Consultant said...
Hey! No commenting on your own post. It makes is appear more popular than it really is.