Her name is Ambrosia:
Ambrosia is, to put it lightly, a bitch. She's not just any bitch, though; she's the queen bee of all the bitches. Take her behavior in Economics 101, for example: Professor: Students, the current economic structure in japan, with a highly governmentaly regulated model, is suprisingly effective. This doesn't exactly mesh with modern economic theory. Can anyone tell me why?
Ambrosia (really, isn't that a fucking presumptuous name. 5 bucks says her name used to be Darlene or something like that, but the queen bee bitch thought she should switch it to something more representative of her stunted character): Dear, dear Professor Somethingorother, it's because the japanese love sushi. And everyone knows that eating sushi is inherently bad for the economy because it gives everyone chinese liver fluke. Did I mention how sexy you look today, and how easy I am to get into bed?
Professor: Ambrosia, (in a class of 500, this is the only person whose name he actually KNOWS) while your theory is unique and your willingness to sacrifice your body is admirable, I'd prefer an answer from someone who DOESN'T LOOK SO FUCKING SATISFIED WITH HERSELF! NO ONE SHOULD HAVE SUCH A PERSISTANT SMIRK ON HER FACE! DIE BITCH, DIE AND SUFFER IN THE ENTERNAL HELLFIRE REALM OF WEST ALBUQUERQUE!!!!!!
That's pretty much it for Ambrosia. Economics with her, as I understand it from the person who took this picture in the middle of the hallway and proceeded to kick the subject of said photograph down the main stairwell (she didn't die, of course. Evil cannot die, it can only have its legs broken.), is like crawling naked over a field of medical waste. i.e. IT IS NOT ENJOYABLE.
Now let us move onto insulting myself. This is me at work. It's fairly difficult to get a picture of me OUTSIDE of work, because this is where I live-- in the server room, under my desk. The locals have taken to calling me the Oracle gnome (which is funny, because I know nothing about Oracle, except how to reboot the database and place empty cups of soda on its application server).
I'm fairly certain it's an affectionate diminutive they've given me, because everyone else who tries to live at work is forced out by the daily rat and roach bombings. I've persisted, however, and this has earned me some semblance of respect within these peoples' highly selective culture.
On the rare occasions when I DO venture a journey outside of the facility, I can be found at a couple of the local watering holes having my GODDAMN EARS talked off by drunken louts who've found a convenient depository for all sorts of personal psychological waste, or at the Coronado Mall buying clothing that actually looks decent (all of which couldn't be done without the assistance of two people who enjoy holding me down and covering my face in women's makeup and then forcing the entire UNM campus to look, point, and laugh at me).
However, today I'm wearing a JTHM shirt that i've had since the 6th grade. So I guess that says something about me. Exactly what, I'm unsure, but it probably has something to do with stagnation.
--HK_Newbie
P.S. Rainny, is "the mars volta" any good?
RaiNny said...
I will not divulge such requested information until you send me the 30STM rip and a book recommendation for learning Linux basics.
hk_newbie said...
I DID! didn't you get the email from usendit? Geez. And as for linux books, linux for dummies and a copy of mandrake (mandriva) will do just fine.
RaiNny said...
Liar! I received no such email!
RaiNny said...
So yeah, send it to me again (RaiNnyX4@aol.com) and I'll tell you about The Mars Volta.