It started out like any other weekend.
Rainny and Calamity Jane HALO jumped onto the roof of my house from a high-altitude jet they spent all the previous weekend building with the ITS group at their college, climbed in through my brother's open bedroom window, shot him in the head because he was rude and didn't offer to take their coats (thanks guys, more storage space!), and went down into my basement in a futile attempt to assasinate me and take control of the 4MR. Needless to say, their pathetic tries were amusing, but I kicked both their asses in short order, and together we went to pick up gking from his place of business: the King of Prussia "Arena of Doom!"
The KOP Arena was, as usual, bustling with the typical blood-thirsty activity of people going out of their way to watch fatal gladiatorial-style battles between skilled fighters. Gking, AKA "The Mean Machine", was on a streak of 30 kills in a row, when someone complained that he wasn't cheerful enough as he ripped the still-beating heart from his latest victim. The Arena managers subsequently comp'd the complainer's ticket price and beer and sent Gking home for the evening with a warning to be more outwardly cheerful in his demeanor as he utterly destroys his opponents--- thus ending his killing streak, which was just 2 points away from being a "M-M-M-MASSACRE!!!"
With the 4MR finally complete, we went out to our stomping grounds in ChinaTown and OldCity in Philly, where we "stomped" the punks who thought our prolonged absence indicated some sort of weakness in our collective strength. Gking cracked some skulls while laughing maniacally and quoting crappy anime movies, Rainny strangled people with his snake-like hair and crushed everything that brings joy and wonderment to the eyes of children (footballs, soccerballs, videogame systems, park equipment, etc.) in a furious display of jealous rage because he never had ANYTHING fun as a kid, and Calamity Jane shot up a bunch of inanimate objects that exploded everytime she hit them...I don't know when the city of Philadelphia started filling its trash cans with gasoline, but let me say, it is quite an impressive sight. I just kinda stood there and looked around in an apathatic, blase, and totally BAD-ASS manner---surveying the damage and nodding when something my minions did met with my pleasure.
After the riots subsidded, we went to a karaoke bar in west west philly, by 69th street, drank much vodka, and sang. I was righteous in my singing, everyone else was merely so-so.
During one moment of perfect synchronicity between rainny and myself, as we were singing "That's the way (uh-huh) I like it" we linked arms and rained doom down upon the unprotected heads of our enemies. I believe it was this linking of arms that also caused Calamity Jane to break down into hysterical convulsions of laughter (or was that after the bottle of sake we had later at my place?). We did other things too, but to recount everything we did would take more time than i'm willing to type, and far more time than you're willing to read, oh you semi-literate cretins. Let's just say that one of the peak moments of our weekend occured when i used the phrase "stupid monkey ritual" and Gking almost accidently shot himself.
I'll leave you with one last photo; a photo that sums up the essentiallity of our past, present, and future 4MR weekends:
THIS PHOTO HAS BEEN REMOVED B/C IT IS TOO SCARY FOR WORDS
--HK_Newbie
calamityJANE said...
i had another attack of laughing after reading this. not good for my health!
The Salvage Bar said...
RaiNny said...