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Throwing is the new rolling

One of the greatest sites ever to be seen by mere mortals. Prepare yourselves...for awesomeness. 

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

12:29 AM - Adventures with Calamity's brother!

I had heard much of the man known simply as "Johnthe69er" but had not had any experience with the lad, so naturally I jumped at the opportunity to chat him up and get a glimpse of just how fucking out of his mind he really is. Behold!

Tino the 96er (8:15:54 PM): yo sup
Jonthe69er (8:16:12 PM): who is this
Tino the 96er (8:16:20 PM): I was hoping you could tell me
Tino the 96er (8:16:28 PM): for once I was lost
Tino the 96er (8:16:30 PM): and now am found
Tino the 96er (8:17:03 PM): I saw your screen name and wanted to say, Hello
Jonthe69er (8:17:07 PM): ok
Jonthe69er (8:17:10 PM): where
Tino the 96er (8:17:11 PM): because really it feels like I've known you forever
Jonthe69er (8:17:18 PM): o-k
Tino the 96er (8:17:27 PM): where?
Tino the 96er (8:17:31 PM): in your heart perhaps
Tino the 96er (8:17:32 PM): in your mind
Tino the 96er (8:17:34 PM): in your soul
Tino the 96er (8:17:37 PM): you tell me jonny
Jonthe69er (8:17:47 PM): is dis darshani
Tino the 96er (8:18:03 PM): who is darshani?
Jonthe69er (8:18:11 PM): my god
Tino the 96er (8:18:17 PM): there is no God
Jonthe69er (8:18:26 PM): yes there is
Tino the 96er (8:18:39 PM): uh, no
Tino the 96er (8:18:40 PM): I am God
Tino the 96er (8:18:53 PM): love is our God
Jonthe69er (8:19:17 PM): you are not god but i love god
Tino the 96er (8:19:51 PM): what if I told you God didn't love you back?
Jonthe69er (8:20:09 PM): he does love me
Tino the 96er (8:20:18 PM): how do you know?
Jonthe69er (8:20:31 PM): where the heck did u get the tino the 96er
Tino the 96er (8:20:32 PM): I can make pretend Natalie Portman loves me too
Tino the 96er (8:20:35 PM): just because I say so
Jonthe69er (8:20:45 PM): no
Tino the 96er (8:20:51 PM): tino the 96er?
Jonthe69er (8:20:52 PM): is dis a boy
Tino the 96er (8:21:03 PM): who is dis?
Tino the 96er (8:21:09 PM): I do not understand
Jonthe69er (8:21:18 PM): why should i tell you
Tino the 96er (8:21:22 PM): dis?
Tino the 96er (8:21:26 PM): do you mean this?
Jonthe69er (8:21:28 PM): are you in ms137
Jonthe69er (8:21:42 PM): im getting confused
Tino the 96er (8:21:54 PM): I am not but perhaps your school is named for me
Tino the 96er (8:21:56 PM): for I am a Hero
Tino the 96er (8:22:16 PM): in my own mind
Jonthe69er (8:22:26 PM): ok so u do go to the school
Tino the 96er (8:22:29 PM): I think Jonny that me and you should be friends
Tino the 96er (8:22:49 PM): stop asking questions which have no bearing on this conversation
Jonthe69er (8:22:55 PM): not until u tell me your NAME
Jonthe69er (8:23:02 PM): ok
Tino the 96er (8:23:07 PM): well Jonny
Tino the 96er (8:23:14 PM): it wouldn't take much of a stretch to figure that one out
Jonthe69er (8:23:23 PM): ok
Tino the 96er (8:23:25 PM): my name is Ezekiel
Jonthe69er (8:23:40 PM): WHAT THE FUCK
Jonthe69er (8:23:59 PM): :-X
Tino the 96er (8:24:02 PM): why are you so shocked?
Jonthe69er (8:24:25 PM): that is a fucking pussy ass name
Tino the 96er (8:25:55 PM): what if I told you I eat babies and shit lightning?
Jonthe69er (8:26:04 PM): lo0l
Jonthe69er (8:26:29 PM): That is stupid
Tino the 96er (8:26:55 PM): hey look at me my name is jonny
Tino the 96er (8:26:59 PM): blakc and red?
Tino the 96er (8:27:04 PM): looks to me like the colors of SATAN
Jonthe69er (8:27:11 PM): no
Jonthe69er (8:27:31 PM): looks to me like the colors of SATAN
Tino the 96er (8:27:47 PM): is there an echo here jonny?
Jonthe69er (8:27:48 PM): Tino the 96er (8:26:59 PM):
Jonthe69er (8:27:55 PM): yeah
Jonthe69er (8:27:58 PM): tino
Tino the 96er (8:27:59 PM): me and you are more alike than you think
Jonthe69er (8:28:10 PM): ok
Jonthe69er (8:28:13 PM): tino
Jonthe69er (8:28:14 PM): tino
Jonthe69er (8:28:16 PM): tino
Jonthe69er (8:28:17 PM): tino
Jonthe69er (8:28:20 PM): tin o
Tino the 96er (8:28:21 PM): yes
Jonthe69er (8:28:23 PM): ok
Jonthe69er (8:28:27 PM): manwhore
Tino the 96er (8:28:35 PM): nope
Jonthe69er (8:28:35 PM): are u
Jonthe69er (8:28:41 PM): butch
Jonthe69er (8:28:44 PM): slut
Jonthe69er (8:28:46 PM): ho
Tino the 96er (8:28:54 PM): tino is the name of a yankee first baseman
Tino the 96er (8:28:58 PM): but thank you
Jonthe69er (8:29:02 PM): ok
Jonthe69er (8:29:07 PM): goog for u
Tino the 96er (8:29:08 PM): Jonny
Tino the 96er (8:29:12 PM): I too can say random things
Tino the 96er (8:29:22 PM): butch
Tino the 96er (8:29:22 PM): slut
Tino the 96er (8:29:24 PM): ho
Tino the 96er (8:29:30 PM): but why?
Tino the 96er (8:29:35 PM): shouldn't you strive for more?
Jonthe69er (8:29:44 PM): dickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick
Jonthe69er (8:29:48 PM): dickdick
Jonthe69er (8:29:49 PM): dick
Jonthe69er (8:29:51 PM): dick'
Jonthe69er (8:29:53 PM): dick
Jonthe69er (8:29:55 PM): dick
Jonthe69er (8:29:56 PM): dick
Tino the 96er (8:29:56 PM): Jonny
Tino the 96er (8:30:00 PM): you're better than this Jonny
Jonthe69er (8:30:01 PM): you eat is
Jonthe69er (8:30:04 PM): dick
Tino the 96er (8:30:10 PM): don't make me shit lightning at you
Jonthe69er (8:30:19 PM): u put cum in ur mouth
Jonthe69er (8:30:28 PM): and slurp it
Jonthe69er (8:30:31 PM): all day
Jonthe69er (8:30:40 PM): untill you DIE
Tino the 96er (8:30:58 PM): hahaha
Tino the 96er (8:30:59 PM): jonny
Tino the 96er (8:31:07 PM): what if I told you I was an undercover cop
Jonthe69er (8:31:22 PM): i would cry
Jonthe69er (8:31:25 PM): :'(
Tino the 96er (8:31:30 PM): Jonny
Tino the 96er (8:31:40 PM): we need to calm down here
Tino the 96er (8:31:42 PM): there is no need to cry
Jonthe69er (8:31:42 PM): :-X:'(:'(
Jonthe69er (8:31:48 PM): IM SORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY
Jonthe69er (8:31:55 PM): WAWA
Tino the 96er (8:32:04 PM): hey look at me i'm jonny lol kewl beans
Tino the 96er (8:32:21 PM): no need to cry
Tino the 96er (8:32:30 PM): you're doing pretty well
Jonthe69er (8:32:30 PM): ok
Tino the 96er (8:32:39 PM): most people get turned off after I tell them the lightning-shitting story
Tino the 96er (8:32:41 PM): but seriously
Tino the 96er (8:32:44 PM): God doesn't exist
Jonthe69er (8:32:45 PM): Stop because im doin my hm
Jonthe69er (8:32:48 PM): ok
Tino the 96er (8:32:49 PM): hm?
Tino the 96er (8:32:54 PM): is that hm for HOMO LOLOLOL
Jonthe69er (8:32:56 PM): u r bothering me
Tino the 96er (8:32:57 PM): OWNED
Jonthe69er (8:33:05 PM): bye
Tino the 96er (8:33:11 PM): no, don't leave me jonny
Tino the 96er (8:33:13 PM): DON'T LEAVE ME
Jonthe69er (8:33:16 PM): my mom is here
Tino the 96er (8:33:24 PM): hi jonny's mom
Jonthe69er (8:33:31 PM): bye
Tino the 96er (8:33:42 PM): hi! ;-)
Jonthe69er (8:33:46 PM): bye
Jonthe69er (8:33:48 PM): bye
Jonthe69er (8:33:50 PM): :-*
Tino the 96er (8:33:52 PM): hi! ;-)
Tino the 96er (8:33:56 PM): hi! ;-)
Jonthe69er (8:33:56 PM): :-*:-*:-*
Tino the 96er (8:33:57 PM): hi! ;-)
Tino the 96er (8:34:32 PM): :'(
Jonthe69er (8:38:00 PM): funnyjunk.com go on this website
Jonthe69er (8:38:23 PM): then on the left click on # 45 and watch it
Tino the 96er (8:38:27 PM): jonny
Jonthe69er (8:38:28 PM): it is funny
Jonthe69er (8:38:30 PM): ok
Tino the 96er (8:38:31 PM): i am aware of funnyjunk
Jonthe69er (8:38:36 PM): dam
Tino the 96er (8:38:44 PM): btw
Jonthe69er (8:38:45 PM): lolfun
Tino the 96er (8:38:48 PM): you can call me Zeke for short
Tino the 96er (8:38:53 PM): i gotta go
Tino the 96er (8:38:55 PM): my mom is here
Tino the 96er (8:38:57 PM): bbl kthxbye
Jonthe69er (8:39:07 PM): hi your mom
Jonthe69er (8:42:22 PM): hi
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from Tino the 96er (8:42:22 PM): I am away from my computer right now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jonthe69er is away at 8:42:43 PM.
Jonthe69er returned at 8:44:16 PM.
Jonthe69er (8:51:19 PM): yo
Jonthe69er (8:51:30 PM): tino
Jonthe69er (8:52:23 PM): what if i say this is a prank and you are really trying to lure me so u can molester me
Jonthe69er (8:53:14 PM): what if i say i will call the cops and get you deported
Jonthe69er signed off at 8:53:21 PM.


There you have it. What more can I say?

- Kosta


Blogger hk_newbie said...

cripes, calamity, you need to give your little bro a lesson on rolling with the punches.

Kosta: good show.  


Blogger The Salvage Bar said...

What does "Jonthe69er" mean? Is that... dirty?  


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