Hello, my name is Masayuki Miosaka, and I would like to be your new Super Fun-Time Emperor of Happiness and Law. Together, I believe we can build a golden bridge of milk and honey to the land of our ancestors and beyond, even to the Moon should the weather permit the bearing of our fruit.For too long the people of this delicious country have allowed the corrupt and inflammable politicians to break their backs with the burden of lies and half-truths. Now I have come to you to lead you to great bear penis fortunes. These super treasures having been forged by the light of our people's blistering spinal columns and delivered to us by us and you!
I know that there are powerful, blood-filled warriors among you ready to ride into the deepest of voting brothels to destroy our enemies. And all I require of you
is your undying allegiance and ten bushels of rice each. I assure you that your happiness will be resumed upon your bodily decay should you meet a glorious cherry blossom death with our enemies.Our opponents have often lain roads of questions about our policies. They criticize us for our tough Anti-Ninja reform and seemingly bottomless ocean of nurse and schoolgirl tentacle rape scandals. They prosper on the faults of our failed treaties with Godzilla and Mothra. Our inability to keep the incessant mech-battles and Pokemon duels off the streets of our joyous capital only serve as wind-traveled fuel to the dragon of their blackened hearts. But now is not the time to concentrate on the spoiled milk travels. Let us remember how we have rebuilt Tokyo from cinder no less than 74 times this year. We are strong and persevere over all odds big or full of vomit. Let us recall Beat Takeshi, Sonny Chiba, Akira Kurosawa, The Sega Dreamcast, and heaven splitting swords. These are our powers of crushing sagas. This is who we are, not who we aren't or won't not become should we fail or succeed!
I have witnessed this prosperity among us all. We have flowered strongly and bloodthirstily into awesome shelters of hope! So sharpen your stomach slashing blades, strap on your finest straw hat, and pack a box-lunch for we march on the barbarian capital in 2008, the year of the sweating dog! Bukkakemasu!!!
-RaiNny
hk_newbie said...
You've got to be kidding me. That was freaking amazing...a katana cutting a bullet...sheesh.
said...
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