I have been driving amongst the mongoloid freak babies of Albuquerque for a few months now, and as their ability to navigate such difficult obstacles such as immobile poles, concrete dividers, and straight, clearly delineated road surfaces seems to decrease (significantly) with the passing of every day, my own already considerable driving talents have been steadily increasing toward (but never reaching) infinity.
Verily, with the advent of the first week of school, the roads are filled with passing college-age pedestrains who have confused the street for a larger-than-normal, oddly colored sidewalk. I've been enjoying this immensly--something that goes without saying, really. Every morning, on my way to school--or to work from school--I drive like a bat out of hell: tires squealing and leaving behind a metric ton of burnt rubber as I careen madly (is there any other sort of careening) down the main drag of University Blvd.
Here's some of the words i've been able to pick out of the masses as they dive out of my right-of-way, prior to my breaking the speed barrier in my Taurus, that is. (the ensuing sonic boom kinda drowns out all extraneous squabbling noises):
"I'm a person, WALKING!" (yes, and now you're a person, DIVING.)
"Crazy Maniac Kid!" (would that function as a sort of double negative? Crazy AND maniac, two negative attributes, when mathematically calculated, return a positive. "Kid" is acceptable, because i'd loath to be labeled an adult.)
"Asshole!" (okay, I'll let this one fly. It's applicable.)
Other people attempt to shout words at me, as if i'd be able to hear them with Tool blasting my eardrums bloody, and shape numerous obscenities with whatever hand and body gestures they can. Mostly, their attempts at claiming the road as the sidewalk have proven fruitless. So long as I stay the course, it will remain my domain forever, and rightly so.
--HK_Newbie
