Picture Number 1: Me with my fun face on!
Look at me! On top of Signal mountain in the Teton mountain range surrounded by love, and joy, and happiness. Oh, Would that I had died atop yonder mountain; verily, Angels would have borne me into the magestic aether realms where I would spend the rest of enternity wandering through that moment in utter happiness!Picture Number 2: How is so much FUN even humanly possible?!
This is me making the rigorous climb up some originally named cliffside in my sneakers. There were about a million fellow climbers at the same time, so most of my journey was spent looking squarly into the ass of some individual other than a chick whose ass I wouldn't mind staring into. But still, I trudged on, in the hopes of finding some remotely attractive female buttocks to "accidently" walk into repeatedly. None were located. I did see a mean looking bull moose and some black bear with an arm jutting out of its mouth. That brought a smile to my face (only because I imagined it being my arm in there, and it was my free-floating soul watching my body being devoured).Picture Number the third: You better stop enjoying yourself so much, it could catch!
There's "Iraqi Special Forces Newbie" with Crav Maga neck-snap action. I was standing on a cliffside in Glacier National Park on my way down from one of the remaining receding oversize icecubes otherwise known as "glaciers". I jumped into the melt water basin on the top, hoping the freezing water would numb me and allow me to sink gracefully to the bottom, where I would subsequently be frozen alive at the height of my awesomeness and then thawed out a million years later to kill our alien overlords and bang all the hot chicks (for repopulation purposes, of course). Unfortunately, some jerk reached in, pulled me out, took my picture, and told me to "hit the road". Damn you, nameless rescuer! DAMN YOU!!!Picture Number 4: The deer that will destroy you all!
This picture was taken seconds before my personally trained killer deer "El Ciervo Asesino" tore the throat out of its hapless victim and feasted on the bounty of blood that flowed forth. "L'il Killer", as I like to call him, also trains the rest of the local deer population in the art of rapid carotid artery removal; within a year, they will be legion and the human race will be under the control of the deer. Fear the deer, assholes. Fear the Deer.
--HK_Newbie
hk_newbie said...
don't be jealous just because i'm cute. Loser.
hk_newbie said...
what is this "list" of which you speak?
hk_newbie said...
The Real Question is "when did I start paying attention?"