I went out to the bars later the next evening, on a solo run, when it struck me. MY HEAD STARTED CAVING IN. The only other person in the bar saw me clutching my melon with both hands in an attempt to stop whatever was inside from exiting in a magnificent burst of grey matter, cerebral-spinal fluid, and tiny shrapnel-like pieces of skull, and trying to stop my pate from caving in on itself at the same time. “Dude,” the guy asked me “are you okay?”
“Sure!” I replied, still holding the peak of my aching head with both hands, “I think my twin brother just got a baseball bat to the skull though…”
He gave me a strange look and moved to the other end of the bar.
Two cool things could result from this: one, It could wake up some latent telekinetic power trapped within my brain (e.g. John Travolta in “Phenomenon”) and I become a super-villain; two, I could die. I’m hoping for the former because I would really enjoy being a super-villain (and I’d be an awesome fucking super-villain too! Not some cheap, loquacious loser who describes all his plans for world domination to the hero and lets his twin brother stay locked up in a tower with an iron mask hiding his identity. For more super-villain rules and regulations see the evil overlord list). Also, dying would suck.
I’ve been ingesting prodigious amounts of X-tra strength Tylenol in the hopes that it will somehow reduce the swelling, balding, seething pain that has become the focal point of my life these past couple of days. No luck so far though. !@!#!Asasdaw!@$#….
Hello humans, I am pyramid head. I have taken over this carbon-based life-form’s consciousness through our patented cabinet point injection system in order to initiate my races’ plans for world domination. Make your peace.
!$^&#aASDD…What the hell? What was I saying? Shit. I don’t remember. Man, my head hurts.
--HK_Newbie
hk_newbie said...
any minute now sniper, just hold your horses.