I realize it's been a while since my last post, so allow me to bring everyone up to speed on the telemundo special that is Newbie's attempt at an interesting life.
1. The Dangers of Being Accountable
Due to my forcibly enhanced status as Chief Digital Janitor for a failed coup de'tat in New Mexico, I still have Account Reps from different ISP's and IT consultancy firms calling my cell, knocking on my door (while wearing gold chains and holstered sidearms), and generally trying to assasinate my ass for, in their words, "making promises and failing to keep them". BULLSHIT BITCHES!!! There's only a few lucky ladies in the world who can actually make that claim, and none of them is named "Nancy from AT&T".
Trust me, I feel your pain. You did drag miles of fibre optic cable out into the middle of nowhere cause I thought it would be "neat" to have an OC12 circuit between sites. However, I never signed any contract, or gave any verbal go ahead to do such a thing. I just mentioned how FUCKING COOL it would be. If I got on a tangent about robotic ninja sushi chefs, would you open a restaraunt based on that premise too? Then proceed to sue me if it failed? (though i'm sure it would NOT fail. robot+ninja+sushi=always a winning combo!)
It's a sad sad world when people think HK_Newbie knows what he's talking about.
2. One of many clubbing experiences
Those who know me well enough know of my sojourns down to Baltimore's inner harbor in order to indulge in the carnal delights of the midnight till 1 crowd (or as I call it, the easy bootie hour). And it was a time for the simple acquisition of so-called "bootie". Unfortunately, the particular club/bar I went to was an "18 to enter, 21 to drink" establishment. Oh god! Am I actually that old?! These kids looked like they just stepped out of a middle school pep rally.
What was my solution to this apparent moral dillema? Many, many shots. Gradually the dillema went away on its own. Thank god for alcohol induced moral relativism.
I don't even remember this image, but it took place sometime after I safely arrived at my buddy's apartment. YAY for designated drivers! (Oh, and sober even, I can't make an appropriate "West-side" hand symbol without using both hands to intertwine the middle finger around the...finger between the pinky and the middle...what the fuck IS that finger called anyhow? I don't think I even use it!)3. Skydiving
I went skydiving. I loved it. The people who jumped 15 minutes later...they didn't like it quite so much.
4. Bullet-dodging in Philly
Ummm...this is a story I may or may not tell. Only time will tell.
--HK_Newbie
calamityJANE said...
it's called a ring finger, doc.
in other cultures it's called the doctor's finger or the nameless finger...referring to its magical or healing powers.
in anatomy, it's digitus IV.
hk_newbie said...
OMG. "Digitus IV" is the coolest word i've seen/heard in a loooong time. Thank you for making me aware of it, and i will try to work it into regular conversation all the time.