"Ah, that's more like it" I thought to myself; a direct attempt at destroying me. Much more understandable than the pseudo concern.
"No, I was going to save that pleasure for you. Bitch."
And so I went drinking.
Unsurprisingly, random stuff happened during the course of that night and following day. I vaguely remember talking to people and dancing with people during the night, but to be honest, it was too much of a blur to recall accurately. So instead, I'll detail what I like to call: "My Wegmans Trip From Hell".
I was staring at some of the fresh-made, gourmet hoagies that Wegmans (or weggies, as I affectionately put it) is known for when I realized someone was laughing at me. Not just any sort of laughter, but malicious, cruel, and hateful laughter. I turned around and found this strange looking middle-aged lady pointing at me and laughing. She stopped for a brief second when I looked at her, but quickly resumed the pointing and laughing. I did a quick inventory of potentially laugh-at-able things; fly, up; face, intact (relatively); no toilet paper or vomit on my person; WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH LAUGHING AT?
I determined that she was probably going to reveal her true form shortly (everyone knows that the villain's lengthy laughter immediately precedes some drastic metamorphosis usually involving spikey appendages and pointy tails)and I should probably bug the hell out of there before she devoured me whole.
Then I met another bitch at the checkout counter. She mumbled something to me as she took my payment and then looked at me like I had a third eye. "WELL?!" She practically screamed, "Are you going upstairs or leaving?!"
"Ummmmm...upstairs?" I guessed.
"Good." She sheathed her combat knife and handed me my change.
Lesson learned: Women are TERRIFYING
