2. Enter Full Ninja Attack Mode (FNAM) (Just ask Eric, I punched the poor guy after he broke his ribs, what kind of asshole does that? A drunken ninja, my friends, a drunken ninja.)
3. Pretend to be someone famous, though no one can ever guess exactly who the hell I'm pretending to be. Probably someone awesome, rest assured.
4. I strip down to my boxers (sex-ay), wrap my blankets around me in a toga-esque outfit, and tell everyone that "you can't see me! you can't see me! I'm invisible!"
Then I crawl around army-style outside, looking for groundhogs with my shark knife. (unfortunately, I do have a vague recollection of this...and brush burns).
5. I break things. Like hearts; cause that's how I roll, yo! The honeys, they just can't stay away from Tipsy Doc, which is similar to regular Doc, except filled with precious precious alcohol and urine.
6. I write stories, in cursive, in a manner not dissimilar from Jack Kerouac's drug fueled typing session of "On The Road". Except I write in a torn-up notebook, and my stories don't even make sense to me after I interprete the shoddy cursive. When the notebook isn't available to me, I make use of any reflective surfaces and soap--- much to the cleaning lady's chagrin.
7. I sit on my bed, in the lotus position, with Tool playing, and imagine everything is on fire (or frozen, that's cool too) except me. Does that sound bad to you?
8. I sing. (Once again, like dancing, this is something I should never do, because I do it so very poorly)
9. I attempt to balance rolls of toilet paper on my oddly-shaped head. I may just post pictures of successful roll balancers of New Mexico (we may form our own organization). Trust me, everything is fun when regular Doc becomes Tipsy Doc. Even this.
10. I determine that drinking sucks, and I'm never, ever doing it again. Like dancing and singing, drinking is something that I cannot successfully perform in, so it must be eliminated entirely. Or mostly. I still like cocunut Margaritas.
Afterthought: I seem to remember attempting to summon Cthulu from his eternal slumber in the watery depths of R'lyeh, Cthulhu Fhtagn! (I failed, obviously)
---HK_Newbie
RaiNny said...
Breach of Etiquette!!! Lose 5 honor!!!
hk_newbie said...
oh, MF. I hate that card almost as much as Counter Attack!