Actually, The urinals posted above are far better in design than the ones I'm referring to (the funnel shape is a genius fucking idea, why don't more public bathrooms have this model?). But I can't stand the idea of people looking at me while I do my "business", so this picture is quite accurate in portraying the level of discomfort I feel when, after I finish a good pee, I look down at my pant legs and see hundreds of atomized droplets of urine clinging to my spill-proof khakis like so many mountain climbers on a sheer cliff-face (Mental note: come up with better metaphors in the future).
The problem lies in the design of those ubiquitous white enameled urinals that we've grown so familiar with: they basically require one to piss onto a flat surface from just scant inches away from the point of origination, so to speak. If the muzzle velocity of the stream exiting the urethra exceeds a certain pressure, then there's a significant amount of splash-back. The majority of this so-called splash-back ends up, as previously mentioned, coating the legs of my khakis a very recognizable shade of yellow dots. The only way to eliminate this possibility is to reduce the exiting stream to a pressure below (>) the critical point where splash back is inevitable. I believe this a coefficient of the surface tension of urine; a value I do not feel like determining for obvious reasons. Suffice it to say that the desired pressure for minimizing embarrassing splash-back accidents is somewhere between not actually peeing and accidentally pissing on your shoes.
In other words, just use the fucking toilet.
--HK_Newbie
calamityJANE said...
you could pee more often so that you don't end up peeing like a racehorse.
horses always have splashback. that's why you have to get all the way up to your elbows to clean their pee-pees. i think that horses in the wild actually have a shorter life because of bladder and urinary infections.
splashback could happen in a toilet too.
hk_newbie said...
Why does it not surprise me that you have such in-depth knowledge of this subject?
RaiNny said...
Maybe it's because I'm hung like a horse?