I drove to Alabama a few days ago. I left around midnight, and drove for 14 FUCKING hours straight through the most god-forsaken wasteland imaginable (on the eastern and central timezones, that is) only to arrive in a terrifying land of gigantic phallic objects reaching toward the sky.
Kids, It's not all rocket ships either. It seemed like around every curve, there was a gigantic cross-like structure (i say cross-like because to make a cross so insanely large that its original signifying purpose-- hanging people-- becomes impossible, it then enters the realm of caricature and "likeness". It becomes absurd, and possibly indicative of some personal shortcoming of the people or peoples who originally requisitioned its construction--that is to say, similar to those guys with a massive spoiler on their mom's Honda, these people have small penises. Even the women.
Especially the women.
My case in point:
And example number the second:
It was not all bad, though. I did have some fun, albeit drunken fun, and pretty much everything is fun when one is drunk. We went to a strip joint, where I learned that strippers' breasts must have little pastie thingies covering the nipples, cause they (the nipples) are an insult to His heavenly sight.
It is, however, alright for the strippers to touch you in all sorts of wonderful places and for you to touch them back--SO LONG AS YOU ARE IN A ROOM WITH A CURTAIN. 'cause, you know, God can't see what happens behind closed curtains.
The most terrifying thing of all: They know when I sleep.
--HK_Newbie
