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Throwing is the new rolling

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Thursday, January 18, 2007

6:11 PM - A day of work: Newbie Style

My days at work are getting progressively weirder and more BOFH-like as the hours pass.

An example:
9am

Coworker: Hey, Newbie, good morning! Could you show me how to log-in to the terminal server again please?

Me: Sure, I'll be right over. ::whistles as I walk to my office::

Noon

Slightly-Annoying-but-still-likeable-coworker: Ummm, Mr. Newbie, my popcap games stopped working, and my bonzai buddy won't start up. Could you make them work please?

Me: Allow me to calmly but with a slight derogatory edge explain to you why you should not be permitted to touch the keyboard let alone post changes to the finance database.

2pm

Completely-annoying-and-utterly-useless-cow-worker: Hey IT-guy, my home computer is acting up. Could you take time out of your post-work binge schedule and come to my home (which smells of cat urine) to vainly attempt to fix an early 90's gateway clunker so virus-ridden and malware-infested that other proximate machines absorb rootkits through actual-honest-to-goodness osmosis.


Me: ::removes cable tester/laser cutter from utility belt and commits hara-kiri:: Seppuku is the only answer. ::Dies::

As you can see, my day continually goes on a downward spiral until about 7pm, when everyone leaves and I can actually hit the gym (in-house), shower, and get some work done. Around 9 or 10, I am free to socialize with Enrique and Monique (the cleaning people) for a few minutes, say goodbye to the security guard, and beat a straight path to the closest bar. Rinse. Repeat.

At least I'll always have per diem.

--HK_Newbie

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