There's an amusing little conversation going on over at Bullshido.net about how pro-wrestler Bill Goldberg studied Aikido in his early years, complete with some funny Photoshopped images. I whipped up a little contribution and you should too!





-RaiNny

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Having a girl suck the life out of your neck may be fun in the moment. But my advice is to never get a hickey from a girl that bites. The end result is most painful. That is my neck in the photo courtesy of Sorjai's amazing SLR digicam.

- Natedawg

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No. Not really. But what I do maintain is an air of irreverence and geeky-annoyance that has been perfected over the years by my ilk (the IT crowd).

For your consideration:

Today we did what my work likes to call a "disaster preparedness plan". They don't really call it that--they use some asinine weaselwords instead, but this is what I call it because it actually makes sense. Basically, what it consists of is a role-playing event of disasterous proportions (think giant lizard attack), except without all the tennis ball throwing and cries of "Lightning bolt!"



Of course, upon being involved in the event, I decide to add a bit of what I like to call "Newbie spicyness!"

All of these events took place either via email traffic or Telecons.

Here's the first email:


I had to reduce the font size to fit it in one 1154 X 864 resolution screen size. I swear, each letter must have been roughly the size of a car tire on the original email. I don't know if the sender understood that having to piece together each word letter-by-letter is highly fucking annoying. Oh well.

(click image for hi-res goodness!)







Then one of my cohorts makes the mistake of asking the group how to proceed, and I respond in a productive, professional manner.

My Boss incorporates my stunning answer into his response to the event.
In front of his boss.
Am I climbing the corporate ladder or what?







(click image for hi-res goodness!)





YES! GOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!


God, I'm a loser.

--HK_Newbie

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Hello Folks! It's been a while. I blame work, the acquisition of a new apartment in close vicinity to all the watering holes i'll ever need, and plain old tiredness from training for the MARINE CORPS MARATHON (to be held in an ultra-secret location where only ninjas, marine snipers, and Doc can reach). I hope I don't die. Really, cause that would put a damper on my video-game playing.

1. This is one point I really can't contest. I am a drunk Irish bastard. Emphasis on the bastard.

2. Ah, the gorgeous women. As is my style, they quickly realize what a psycho I really am, and once that knowledge is gained they avoid me like some biblical plague. A biblical plague that stalks you and cries when when your big, scary male friend threatens me with severe brain trauma. Doc doesn't like brain trauma unless it's self-inflicted in a bottle.

3. What can I say? The people who claim to be my parents were hippies. They experimented with all sorts of radioactive isotopes. Their favorite was Knippletotium 234. That explains my super powoers.

4. Actually, that's not quite accurate. I never got my black belt. They sent me straight to RAINBOW COLORED BELT! IT'S FABULOUS!!!

5. Hard Gay is a close personal friend of mine. He's not really gay though, instead he uses the natural fear of "teh ghey" to annoy and embarrass and instill this emotion that hasn't been defined by any language yet...I'll call it abflag: The fear of a homosexual's writhing abdominal muscles. Together we shall conquer the EARTH. Then I'll wall him in the Roman catcombs and wish him the best of luck! In pace requiescat!

I love myself almost as much as I hate myself.

--HK_Newbie

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I've been working on launching a podcast where I read old stories. Over the last few months I've recorded a couple of things by Poe, some classical Greek history, the first book of Homer's Iliad, and two stories by H.P. Lovecraft. I haven't gotten the RSS feed up, but here is a preview, a reading of "Nyarlathotep" by Howard Phillips Lovecraft. Constructive feedback is always appreciated.

salvagebar reads "Nyarlathotep"

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its jonathan i'm usin my sisters screenname

yo dat trip waz fun

u should have got accepted

it waz so fun

michael got into a fight wit terrorist

in the restaurant after we ate we went on dis little ride

and one mexico waz der and gabriel said were passin the border of mexico

and i said to prepare your green cards! lol

i waz so funny

i think we got in trouble too because we saw a bag and in the bag

there were passports and two people cant go back to brazil

they thought dat we stole the bag and we got into trouble

talk to u laterz then

1zz

-calamityJANE

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