Heya everyone! Once again, I find myself in New Mexico packing up equipment and sleeping in a cardboard box in a cold, sanitized server room with faulty circuits (i can tell because the UPSes keep giving me low whiny drone when they regulate poor voltage) and aborted baby ghosts (more on that later).

I realize it has been a while since my last rambling and semi-coherent post, so i'll try and keep this one up to the high standards i set long ago when free-time and the ability to produce individual strings of thought were regular occurances.

First of all, a bunch of weird things happened to me. This doesn't exclude various drug and alcohol related substances, waking hallucinations, scary visitations, uncomfortable sexual situations, and many nights of working miles below the earth's crust..in a bunker. I even had a song I sang when i felt a little bit down. It went a little something like this (to be sung to the tune of Wagner's lietmotif for Siegfried from "Der Ring des Nibelungen") : "work and school! doo dee doo! work and school! ::florish:: I hope someone runs me over as i cross the street ::end florish::!"

I also read alot and went to grad school, which, let me tell you, is HIGHLY overrated. It's not so much a school as it is a place for similarly aged people to hookup, reproduce, fail courses that cost thousands of bucks a pop, and get parking tickets.

And yes, i even made friends. For those of you who purport to know me, you're probably scoffing AS you level up your cleric/mage dwarven tank character--but i swear: it's the truth.

Of course, there were misadventures. There had to be.
I got drunk in an airport; hooked up with some chick who said, and i quote, "we'll make beautiful babies"; fell asleep in MANY strangers' homes; thought i saw people with wings threatening my personal airspace on a mesa in northern new mexico; recieved no less than 5 speeding tickets from the anal-retentive pueblo police, Albuquerque PD, and sante fe police; had friends and enemies alike spill tables worth of alcohol on my new pants; lost my luggage; found my luggage; got lost in Houston; finally found myself in Houston; lost my cell phone (and i still can't find it); fell in love; fell out of love; hid from people who more than likely wanted to kill me. And all that is just a taste of the many attempts of social behavior that today, in perfect hindsight, I view to be absolute failures.

That's not to say that good things didn't happen. My happiest memories, thus far, take place in New Mexico, so that's a positive. Additionally, I made a shitload of money which will likely be spent in furthering my so-called "education" in a field where i'll make no money, and probably end up bumming spare change from business majors on an off-ramp in philly.

Ah, you have no idea how good it feels to get this shit down on a medium (digital or otherwise).

This one night, about a month ago, i ended up sleeping in a server room in a converted abortion clinic/hospital out in a small town in the mountainous tundra/woodland of northern new mexico. During that night, and i swear i'm not bullshitting you, I saw an infant (con umbilical cord) open the door i had shut and locked, come into the inner room where i was trying my damndest to sleep and look at me. It then did a perfect about face and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind it. I didn't know at the time that the building used to be an abortion clinic...i thought it was just a pediatrician's office space. It still freaks me out thinking about it. Normally I'm not the sort of person predisposed to scaring the shit out of myself--though the vodka i was drinking that night may have been a contributing factor.

I'm happy to hear Rainny and Calamity Jane will be coming down on the 6th. I made special arrangements to come out here sooner so i could be home on the 6th. I hope you two are prepared for a completely awesome and totally unpredictable weekend filled with the joys of: firearms, food, drink, party, fun, sleep deprivation, and D&D.

You can reach me via email, ryan.dougherty[at]lmco.com or on my desk phone 505-843-4123 (just leave a message if i don't pick up, And for god's sake, leave jane's cell phone number). I lost my cell phone, so don't even try it.

It's good to be back!

--HK_Newbie

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As you all know, Comedy Central's brilliant Chappelle's Show is definitely gone from our TV sets, if not from our hearts. Fans of the show gnash their teeth, asking the gods, "Why? Why has our beloved Show been taken from us?"

Two competing theories have risen, battling for dominance in the mindspace of the show's fans.

1.) An Evil Cabal of Blacks led by Bill Cosby conspired to Keep Dave Down because he wouldn't bow to their politically-correct fascism.

Chappelle's Show was too hot to handle, too cold to hold.

2.) Dave wasnt getting enough phat l00t, so he had to stop doing the show and devote more time to his guild.

The Alliance was going to put a hit on Dave if he didn't join them for another mob run.

-salvagebar

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The other day I was performing my usual, "check the same webpages over and over again for about 74 minutes, in between obsessive compulsively inspecting every away message on my AIM buddy-list to make sure they haven't changed in the last 12 or 13 seconds, and yelling at Kosta for being such a fag, or "normal" as he would put it", when I stumbled upon this wonderful gem. Not only is it highly amusing, but best of all, it features an old random clip of Bowden Sensei (at around 1:20). For those who are unaware, Bowden Sensei is the illustrious being that first introduced me to the world of Aikido which in turn led myself to impart the grandeur to Newbie, which was his first step to a more awesome and less homo/fairyish place. Bowden Sensei also has a kick ass moustache that makes him look like a cop.

-RaiNny

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